Sunday, October 17, 2004


You know, gang, I'm just not sure I can keep up with all of this. I do my searches to see what is new and I'm just overwhelmed by all that is out there. Its so hard to keep up. Part of it is sheer time and energy and part of it is that every article is draining, even the positive ones. I have a very busy couple of weeks coming up at my for-pay job. Then comes the election. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep posting regularly. Maybe I should make a point of posting once a week or something like that. I don't know. There's just too much going on to do that. Truth is, there aren't as many of you reading anymore.

I'm probably just down because of all the deluge of death penalty stuff going on. I'm sure I'll get over it. Sometimes, I still wish I could make this my life's work. You know, move to Texas or Florida or California or Virginia and spend my days running death penalty appeals. Truth is, I'm not sure I can afford that financially or emotionally. I know I would love it though.

I believe in our liberties. They are my biggest fear with this upcoming election. Its more than just capital punishment. Its drug sniffing dogs and injectable health care computer chips and infared cameras. Its wiretaps that were once illegal and now are common place. Its the number of men being held without counsel or trial in the name of "war" and "protection." Its the idea that gay individuals are somehow only half human. Its immigrants crossing raging rivers and the Arizona desert because they desire what the US has to offer but then dying before they ever get here. Its police banging down doors and searching homes in the name of "suspicious behavior" and "emergency." Its police officers following cars with black drivers and shiny wheels because they assume the driver is a criminal. Its black men being killed by police officers because they moved to pull out an ID and white men killing cops because the officers wrongly assumed it was just ID they were reaching for. Its the Federal Sentencing laws treatment of drug crimes as compared to any other crime (including violent ones).

And then, its millions of hungry children. Its homelessness run rampant and the lack of compassion and money to treat the metally ill. Its the idea that somehow you are not as valuable a part of society if you don't put on a suit and work in an office. Its the idea that people of arabic descent are glared at in fear when they travel (or elsewhere). Its the concept that because our "leaders" are Christians, that we must subscribe to their idea of right and wrong. Its the idea that our tax money is better spent on a war to "free" another nation than it is to pay for education, health care and social security here at home. Its those many americans who don't understand why the world hates us...

Of course, for so many voting in this election many of these things are very far away from them. They will never need to worry about having the police break down their door. Their son will never be pulled over simply because he is black (probably because he isn't). They will never lose their health care coverage or their union benefits or their social security. They will never be homeless or mentally ill. They will never have a loved one wrongly convicted of a capital crime (or any crime for that matter).

Ok. I'm done now. I guess I just needed a moment.


Anonymous said...

i wish there will be a time where you do not have any death penalty news to post anymore, but as long as we are not there, i hope you can keep on posting. is there anything i/we can do to help?


CarrieJ said...

Thank you, Laurent. No, I think I just needed to blow off steam. There is so much going on in the world and with my job that for a moment, it all seemed overwhelming. I will keep posting. It just might not be as often as it was simply because I don't have the time and when I do have the time I don't have the energy.

david seth said...

It's election day and I just read this. It's understandable that you could be completely overwhelmed by all of this. I know that I often am. I don't have a solution to offer. I just hope you can find one.

Anonymous said...

I just found your site tonight and I think it is awesome. I corresponded with James Allridge (Texas) for about a year I also correspond with a few other death row inmates in Texas and Nevada. Keep up the good work. I know that that keeping this going is time consuming because I started a website and had to give it up for a while. You are doing an excellent job.

(Not so anonymous :))

CarrieJ said...


Thank you. I just read your post tonight (11/28) because I had not purused through the archives recently enough to see the new comments. I appreciate your feedback and hope you keep coming back. The more readers and comments I have, the less "lonely" I feel. I, of course, picked the moniker because at the time I was the only abolitionist blog I could find... turns out, I'm not the only one out there...but the moniker has stuck!